Switching Domestic Gender Roles
Change is the only constant thing in life. But when we change, is it all about moving from bad to good, or do we also consider the things that give us satisfaction but are inconvenient for others as well.
The one thing I hate about being a woman is having to do ordinary things for everyone- house chores in particular- simply because I am female. I despise them, with all my heart, if I’m being honest. However, as a woman, I should be quite familiar with it because “when” I get married; I will be doing so much of it on a daily basis. And this is even why I hate it more, the fact that I cannot dislike it.
Almost every woman I know had the same childhood,you wake up to chores that you must complete before leaving for school and then come back home to dirty dishes waiting after a long and tiring day. Yes, that kind of childhood! Some were fortunate enough to have house helps, but those of us whose parents were afraid of their daughters being sent away from their “husband’s house” because the meat was not well-cooked, we had to do them chores ourselves.
We do all the things that would have been easier if everyone could just play their part. Like going to ask your brother where HIS dirty uniforms were so you could do the laundry, iron it so he’ll look neat and tidy in school. Well it’s nice to take care of your brothers, and fathers and uncles, especially when they are not too worried about their own personal hygiene. But the role of a care taker for a woman is not a choice you make, you ought to be one. All these domestic roles are just there waiting for a girl child to be born and take ownership of them.
Washing dishes, mopping floors and preparing meals might not be too much of a big deal, especially to some of us who do not mind being dignified by the ability to know how to do it well. After all, this has been made our purpose. All our existence we have been taught all these domesticated matters so we can survive in our “husband’s house”.
It reminds me of just how much frightened I am of my “husband’s house”. It seems like a place where I have to involuntarily do all the things I hate doing ,without any help or shifts.
Domestic roles do not have a gender; they are not a synonym for woman, either. They do not augment or devalue authority, strength or one’s level of fertility. There is nothing unmanly about contributing to work in the household. On the contrary, these are life skills one needs and have to learn in order to survive. It is very important that a fully-grown man knows what to do when he needs to eat, sleep or even shower, perhaps without needing a babysitter.
Ideally, any role of a “domestic” nature should be entrusted to those in that particular space to choose how they would want it done. Yet,we have been culturally regulated disadvantageously by these rules of domestic gender roles, and that even the idea of a wife material is limited to a woman’s knowledge of domestic services. And if there were anything like husband material, it would be measured by elevated qualities that does not in any way suggest a man taking care of another in a domestic way.
One’s ability to cook should not be an accolade for a “good woman” or a “different man” and this is why I don’t think it is worthy of an applause.
I do not wish for this to be seen as an advocacy for “unnatural” women like myself, who come out lazy. Since these words, “woman” and “lazy” are mutually exclusive.This, obviously, is just another myth that gets women to consent to the idea of being the servants.
I just cannot pin why a role so exhausting, and burdensome, and degrading should be made mandatory to a group of people, well; to the marginalized group of people. And as long as women and men are conditioned to take up specific roles in households, inequality will remain because placed on these domestic roles is the classification of the more authoritative and significant roles for men and the domestic serving roles for women.
Maybe the next time a boy or man takes up a broom, or serves you a meal, you would not fuss over it. It is not an unmanly thing to do. It is only normal that you participate in your well being and that of your loved ones as well irrespective of your gender, without being magnified.
Just think about it, think about how women could get to work or school or where ever they have to be on time if everyone could just clean their rooms themselves. Think about how women spend ¾ of their days thinking about coming home early to fix lunch for everyone. Imagine if everyone could just toast some bread and fry eggs for survival. Closing early from a paid job or missing a class just to come home to services you’re not being paid for. Think of it all, but while you are at it, please do it with a less patriarchal mind.
